Believe it or not, I am actually a bit shy and awkward in-person. No, really—I am. Especially in groups and with new people. So when we moved to California from Oregon, I worried not only about my kids making new friends, but about myself making new ones as well.
Fortunately schools are full of potential new friends for everyone. While waiting outside of my daughter’s classroom for pick-up one day, I met a really nice woman. Outgoing and friendly, she asked about my daughter’s backpack, and we talked about all of our kids. We even discovered our girls were at the same dance school. She seemed so easy-going and genuine. I liked her immediately.
So every day at pick-up, she and I would chat, even though I could never remember her name. (People should really wear name badges—it would make things so much easier for me.) We always waved to each other across campus. I was excited to have met a new friend.
And then came some rather shocking news.
After the Grandparents’ Day celebration at school, my mom called me up:
Mom: Do you know who Jennifer Thomas is?
Me: Yeah, that’s Mr. Foxy’s ex-girlfriend.
Mom: Well, apparently your kids are at the same school.
Me: What? No way. That’s impossible. She grew up in San Francisco, not here.
Mom: And apparently you know each other.
Me: WHAAAAAAT?!! NO. WAY. That’s impossible. I think I’d know if I knew his ex.
Mom: No, it’s possible and true. Your mother-in-law ran into Jennifer today during the Grandparent’s Day reception. Both of them were pretty shocked to see each other. Your mother-in-law pulled out a picture of you and the kids, and Jennifer said that she knew you.
Me: …
Mom: Yeah, apparently your girls go to the same dance school?
Me: …
Mom: And you talked about backpacks?
Me: THAT’S JENNIFER THOMAS?!!!
Mom: Yep.
Me: Oh holy shit. I gotta call Mr. Foxy.
I called my husband right away, but apparently my mother-in-law had scooped me. He already knew. Disappointed at not being able to deliver shocking news to him, I turned to social media (naturally) and posted this status update on Facebook:
Interesting Development of the Week: Turns out one of the moms that I’m friendly with at the kids’ school was Mr. Foxy’s first girlfriend.
I got a lot of “likes” on that one—and some pleas for more information. Were they hoping for drama? Maybe some bitch-slaps? Or were they really just wanting to know what “first” girlfriend actually meant? It didn’t matter. It was a fun story to tell.
Quite honestly, I tell this story a lot. Because it’s one of those funny twists in life. It also gets some interesting responses from folks. Some people can’t believe I’m friends with Jennifer. Some think it would be really awkward. Some love that we’re friends.
One friend in particular, upon hearing the story, asked the really important question:
“All I want to know is—when you went to pick up your kids that day you found out—did you look GOOD?!”
Fine. I admit it. I absolutely changed into a nicer outfit and fixed my hair and make-up before picking my daughter up that day.
But, honestly, it wasn’t awkward. And neither of us treated each other any differently. Jennifer is a really nice person, and we both genuinely like each other. We even decided to get the families together and let the kids play. And we regularly go out to coffee and lunch. She is fun and sweet and thoughtful—I can see all of the great qualities Mr. Foxy saw in her.
We don’t talk about Mr. Foxy at all—except the one time she brought a bunch of AWESOME high school pictures of him (ones that he seems to have “lost” over the years). We talk about our kids, school, life, and regular stuff that friends talk about. I’m glad to know her, and I’m better off for her friendship.
And—come on—CLEARLY she has excellent taste in men.
31 Responses
I wish everyone handled situations like this in the same manner. You are funny and awkward and brash and all the things I love…but you also have class. That is a balance, my friend.
That might be the nicest compliment I’ve ever received. Thank you, friend! xo
wow
That’s what I said. Only I might have used the f-word instead.
What a great story. It’s such a small world. I would think a connection like that would make it easier, rather than harder, to build a friendship. You know you have something in common. Good for you!
Awww, thanks, friend! xo
Lol….I have a similar story, yet a little removed. Group of guys I hung out with in high school, and after, were hanging one day at a mutual friend’s house (who did not go to school with us). When one of the friends mom arrive to pick him up, she and the mom of the mutual friend saw each other, and out of nowhere SHIT GOT AWKWARD real fast. Turns the two of them knew each other from way back in the day, when they were in HS together, and apparently had a heated rivalry over a guy….who turned out to be my buddies dad. It was awesome, lol
Was there any bitch-slapping?!! Just kidding. Mostly.
My problem is that my husband grew up where we live, and I didn’t. So women I work with, go to church with, and just know or meet, have a past with my husband, who apparently was “very friendly” during his youth.
I have insecurity issues with this, but have to remind myself that it was all in his past.. and he chose me over all of them… but sometimes I can’t help but wish some of MY exes lived here so he’d have to face them everyday!!!
“Very friendly” made me chuckle. Clearly your wit was one of the reasons he choose you. Well, and you’re awesome.
you are a rare breed mrs. Foxy. Must women would have lost their shit….
I think about this kind of thing ALL THE TIME, except I’m the ex girlfriend….I’m friends with my ex on Facebook (have been for 7 years) and judging from what he posts, I think I would like his wife more than I ever liked him, lol…I’ve not met her yet but if and when I do, I’m totally going to be friends with her.
I gotta be honest, I totally came here hoping for bitch slaps. Damn. Juuuuust kidding– I think it says a lot about you and your self-esteem that you’re not bothered!
I love how you found the positives in this and didn’t want to cut a bitch.
You are a better person than I.
I like to think that I am the only girlfriend my guy has ever had. One time we were driving through a neighborhood and he was all, “I dated a girl who lived on that street.”
I looked at him and said, “I hate her.”
“She was a really nice girl.”
“So.”
😀
Lol. This sounds like something I’d say.
ummmm…she still has pics of Mr. Foxy? There wasn’t tape on the back was there…because….awkward….
Just kidding. This is an awesome story.
I love that you can be friendly with her. I’d rather talk to my ex’s new wife than him-she is an awesome woman and a great stepmom to our son. I was even nice to the chick that tried to steal my husband while we were dating when we saw her recently at a mutual friend’s party. (It helps A LITTLE that she looked like hammered shit and I didn’t LOL).
I don’t see why there would be a problem with this. She was a high school girlfriend it’s not like they dated when they were adults or were engaged or like she was an ex-wife. My husband and I live in the same town our whole lives. High school ex-girlfriends are nothing my problem at the beginning was dealing with 2 ex-WIVES. Especially when this exes tried to split us up in the beginning. Talk about drama. Now I just hold my head high be the better person and of course always look great.
I ran into an ex girlfriend at a wedding once. She offered to tell my wife some funny stories about me.
Wife said she wasn’t interested but the whole event caused issues for me. There was no sex, no affection and no smiles in our house that night.
I checked my Etiquette Book to see how you should handle this situation — it said the only clear choice is that you need to sleep with Jennifer’s husband immediately.
I think you handled the whole thing like a pro. I would’ve absolutely freaked out, overcompensated and tried to become her best friend, and made everything worse.
Find out if she can dish you some dirt on him that you can use against him anytime he doesn’t take out the trash! 😛
Actually, I met my husband’s girlfriend sometime back. We didn’t hit it off because I found her quite boring and now I’m questioning MY husband’s taste!!
We’re looking at making a major long distance move…so, as research into the area, I hunted down Wolf’s high school girl friend, and a few of his other friends as well.
Yes, I went searching, and found, his first girlfriend. And gave him her # to call her. And she’s on my FaceBook.
And, if/when we do make the move, she’ll be coming to visit.
Never claimed to be normal, LOL
I have been a longtime lurker of your blog but this post has decided me; you are a class act, and I must follow. 🙂
I guess many women would get bent out of shape about something like that, but I don’t understand why. I for one would love to meet some of my guy’s exes; we didn’t meet until he was 40 and I want to find out every tidbit I can about what he was like… before. Not much different I’d wager but I bet there’s a lot his family won’t tell me! 🙂
Omg. I think about this often! My hubs and I met thru the same social circle AFTER his post divorce ho bag stage…when we started dating I would constantly look around and wonder “who all at this table has he banged??” He always made me feel like I was the only girl in the room though so I never worried much, but oh did I ever wonder!!
That’s so funny, it truly is a small world.
I married my high school teacher’s husband… is that the same? 😛
I can’t wait to meet you in person. We have so much to discuss! xo
I adore this article. I have been there. Except I was the other woman. The good news, is that was high school and we were all idiots back then.
That’s hilarious! I can see that being an amicable situation, being that she sounds totally normal. My husband’s high school girlfriend, not so much.
How about when your friend has a present with your husband? I found out that my best friend, who I’d known for 17 years, had been having an affair with my husband for 17 years. We had been married for … 17 years.