We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day in our house. I cancelled it years ago. (I’m a fan of cancelling things.)
I’m just not a big believer in the overly-commercialized holiday. And it really doesn’t help that Valentine’s Day is within the same three-week timeframe as my son’s birthday, my husband’s birthday, and our wedding anniversary (piss-poor planning on my part).
It gets exhausting buying shit for other people.
But honestly, I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. It was never a big holiday in my family growing up. I can’t think of even one thing that we ever did to celebrate it. (Or maybe I’ve just blocked that out.) Then, in junior high, when you could send a heart-shaped card to someone for 25¢ or a carnation for $1, Valentine’s Day became a popularity contest of who received the most cards and carnations. (Spoiler alert: I was not a winner.)
All through high school and into college, I worked at a flower shop. For weeks prior to Valentine’s Day, I prepared for the ridiculous holiday. I made 10 million lace bows. (Did I mention that I hate lace too? Much to Mr. Foxy’s chagrin). I cleaned about 50 million roses. (My hands were green and riddled with cuts for the next week.) And, on Valentine’s Day itself, I had to deal with rude, last-minute customers who all wanted a $100 bouquet delivered across town in the next 10 minutes. But they only wanted to pay $20.
Bitches.
After working with flowers for so many years, I don’t even like them anymore. Actually, that’s not true. I love beautiful flowers. I hate cheap flowers. But I can’t justify spending a fortune on flowers when they are just going to die within a week. (Never mind that I’d spend that same amount of money on a bottle of wine that will die within a few hours. JUST NEVER YOU MIND.)
Also, I don’t eat chocolate, another traditional Valentine’s Day gift. Actually, I don’t eat much in the way of sweets. (DON’T LEAVE! HEAR ME OUT!) Part of it is my anosmia—I can’t taste very many desserts or candy. Part of it is when I eat sweets and drink wine, I gain five pounds instantly. INSTANTLY. And in the knock-down-drag-out-fight between sweets and wine, wine will always come out the winner. ALWAYS.
To add to all of this, I am not exactly a sappy, romantic person. I hate stuffed animals, stupid flowery greeting cards, and frilly shit. I am far more likely to armpit-fart out a love song than to write one for my husband. In fact, one time at a romantic dinner together, Mr. Foxy was telling me how much he loved me and how our marriage and family make his life complete. I paused and pressed my lips together trying not to blow air out of my mouth. Finally, I replied, “I love you too, but I had to burp first.”
Awwwww, true love.
While my husband is definitely the romantic type, I’m sure somewhere in there (deep down), he’s relieved to not have the pressure of Valentine’s Day gift giving. Although he might appreciate some sort of acknowledgement of the day. (Or just sex.) Whatever.
After the kids were born, however, I felt a slight twinge of guilt over my dislike of what could be a fun holiday for them. So we turned February 14th into Family Love Day. Inspiration came from sleep deprivation, copious amounts of wine, and a Blue’s Clues episode that celebrated Love Day.
Regardless, a tradition was born. On Family Love Day, we give the kids small gifts (usually journals and chocolate), and we all go out for dinner to celebrate love and our family. Now THAT is a holiday I can support.
So Happy Family Love Day to all of you!
Photo Credit: “Candies for Everyone!” by terren in Virginia is licensed under CC BY 2.0. Cropped and added title graphic overlay.
42 Responses
It’s official – we need to live next door to each other. I’ll eat your chocolate, you can have my wine (don’t touch my beer though).
It’s a deal! And, don’t worry, we have a fridge in the basement devoted to beer.
I cancelled Valentine’s Day when my hubby and I got married. I told him as long as we celebrated our anniversary, that was more important. Now, he forgets our anniversary so I got screwed on that deal. But I’m with you – it’s Family Love Day here too!
Yeah, you got screwed. And hopefully you get screwed too.
Aw, that’s a great way to celebrate! My husband and I like to buy discounted candy the day after Valentine’s day. There is also a big Valentine’s banquet that the youth group at my church put on every year. It’s really nice. They serve prime rib, then perform songs and goofy skits. Plus, all the profit they make from tips and selling banquet tickets goes toward paying for their summer camp. I’d say that’s a win-win.
Now about flowers. For me, wine will always win out over flowers. I told my husband this year that if he MUST get me flowers, he’d better get those adorable – and inexpensive! – potted mini daffodils from the grocery store. Once the blooms fall off, I could dry out the bulbs and plant them in the yard. I love yellow flowers, and daffodils are pretty much my favorite. Knowing that I’ll have daffodils in my own yard next year is a WAY better gift than a bouquet that will die in a week or two. Plus I’d have the leftover ceramic pot that I could paint and plant chives in this summer.
I like that idea with the potted flowers. Only, in my house, the dried bulbs and unpainted pot would sit for years (in rock-hard dirt). I’ll just picture your yard with flowers.
On the one hand: YES! To ALL of this. Especially the deciding how YOU as an individual want to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I mean, if Ed wrote me poems or something I’d probably die from embarrassment. FOR HIM. We’re not a “No, you’re the pretty one!” type of couple. I present my ‘Come to Butthead” card as Exhibit A.
On the other hand: I…kind of like getting flowers? (Especially when delivered to my office, which annoys the shit out of the hags whose husbands never send them anything and yes I know: I’m horrible.) And I spent more than my share of Valentine’s Day with the wrong person (which is WAY WORSE than alone) and it’s fun to have someone celebrate with now that I’m with someone whose company I genuinely enjoy and who gets me.
So I think we’re somewhere in the middle: we don’t go crazy with the fancy dinner out and it doesn’t look like a Hallmark store and floral shop got drunk and barfed all over our house, but we do take a moment to acknowledge that we’re really fucking lucky we found each other.
That’s awesome. I don’t begrudge people who want to celebrate the day (and I love the card!). It just ain’t my thing. I also guessing Ed doesn’t send you shit flowers. Those are my biggest pet peeve.
Yeah..hubs is way more romantic than I am. I doubt we’ll even buy each other cards. It’s a silly holiday. Not as silly as sweetest day, but close.
Those are both pretty silly, indeed. Tequila for you and wine for me?
Best part of Valentine’s Day. ..being able to say “Happy VD.” Fucking gross, but hubby and I laugh hysterically after then go about our day.
Bahahahaha! I thought my hubs and I were the only sick fuckers who enjoy calling Valentine’s Day “VD.” It brings us much joy. “Did you get your VD supplies yet?” “Can we discuss our plans for VD?” “Are we going to celebrate VD?”
We’ve had to clean it up a bit now that we have kids … they’re all about the love-fest, so this year I’m going to make them some special treats. I was thinking dipped rice krispie bars. So I can write on my hubsters’ something like “VD is the best!” 🙂
That joke is never not funny.
My wife told me not to buy flowers for valentines day… I agreed. I work in the fresh fruits and veggie business and have access to farmers markets on the wholesale end. I can buy my wife a bucket of cut flowers whenever I want and she seems to like that I do from time to time. That being said valentines day has been eliminated from our place also and been replaced with tropical vacations
Just remember March 14 is steak and blowjob day….don’t eliminate that day….hahaha
We celebrate March 14th as Pi Day. My husband is a math nerd, and well, you already know my stance on blowjobs. 😉
My husband is the romantic but we have never celebrated Valentines. His mother died the first Valentines we were together and it became a celebration of Mary after that. I like that better. I don’t want over-priced flowers and no fucking poems please! I am happy with the occasional corner store bouquet and that wine. Chocolate I can’t live without!
That’s a lovely way to spend the day. Especially with the wine. xo
I giggled about the wine also dying within a few hours. And! My wedding anniversary will be one week before my birthday. I am also a horrible planner.
You’re giggling because you know it doesn’t really take me a few hours, right?! 😉 Cheers to horrible planning!
I hate flowers. I love chocolate. But when my husband buys me chocolate I get mad because I will actually eat it and feel bad about myself. I can feel bad about myself any old day. Valentines is the second Halloween because the kids come home from school with the equivalent of a trunk full of candy. So, my husband buys me nothing and I don’t get mad at him; upping the chances of him receiving sexual chocolates from me. I steal candy from my kids and get my sugar fix while rationalizing that all that candy is not good for them. It is an exhausting affair.
Hey. You’re just keeping their bodies healthy. The things we do for our kids.
Joe. Definitely Joe. Joe was hotter.
Wait, you didn’t ask who was a HOTTER host, did you?
And I’ll take all the chocolate please and thank you.
I’ll bring chocolates to you in June. I’ll have to check the poll on Saturday to see who won. But, Blue was way cuter than Joe.
My husband and I draw each other stupid little geeky cards, but that’s about it. We’re already in the habit of constantly doing nice things for each other for no reason other than we feel like it, so V-Day is kind of pointless in our home.
V-Day has only ever really meant one thing to me anyway: chocolate. Forget the flowers. One of my high school boyfriends thought he’d surprise me with a dozen red roses before class started on Valentine’s Day. He was cute, but not too bright; he hadn’t considered that those roses had to spend all day in my stuffy locker with no water. They were very sad looking indeed by the time I finally got to take them home.
Awww, I like the idea of stupid little geeky cards. I’d probably still forget tho. I’m certain I’ll have wine on Saturday. But I’ll probably forget the occasion.
Steve. Definitely Steve.
Also, Valentine’s is better left to the youngsters with crushes and young love. The ones who still sigh and swoon. Tokens and grand gestures are so important then. It makes me happy when the husband grabs my butt and we have naked time. I don’t need a card. 69 is much better. Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!
Well said on all points.
OMG…you are so me!! Everything you write about describes me to a T.
I drink beer but LOVE LIVE LOVE red wine!! So we could do shareseys on that dozen I will bring over to share.
Hmmm chocolate only at that time…Girls you know what im talking about right!!
Foxy you rock!!
Awww, thank you! I’m up for wine any time! I also enjoy beer tho.
We also stopped celebrating valentine’s day just because it’s two weeks after our anniversary (and because it’s three weeks after both of my little bro’s birthdays too)
I have no idea what blues clues is… American TV show I guess ss.
You can’t taste sweet things? I think you just gave me an excuse to eat twice as much… “oh I have to, because Foxy can’t eat hers”
Jamie, I’m honored to provide you with the rationale to eat twice as many sweets.
And, yes, Blue’s Clues was the bane of my American existence for several years when my kids were young.
I think how you treat people every day matters much more than a cumpulsory gift on a special day. A special day decided upon by strangers, btw.
I’m with you on that one, Jeff. For. Sure.
I’m with you (except for the chocolate part). Esp now that I’m responsible for buying Valentine’s for a pre-K class. Ugh.
It’s okay. I’ll give you all of my chocolate. 🙂
I don’t remember when the last time was that I received a Valentine’s Day gift – so we must have banished it from our house also. PS – Steve is by far the better Blue’s Clue’s host – back in the day, my son was so enamored by him, he would only wear striped shirts for about a year and a half. He was all of three-years-old – but sometimes you have to pick your battles.
At three, my son would only wear pajamas. Like EVERYWHERE. Berry picking, bowling, to the park, on airplane rides. I had a lot less laundry.
The results of the poll will be revealed on Family Love Day. 🙂
I almost left with the chocolate comment…but you still like wine SOOO…
And Joe. Totally. Steve was an asshole.
In my defense, I used to LOVE chocolate. It’s just I can’t taste most of it anymore so why bother. More for you, right? 😉
I still can’t believe Steve left for college and left Joe in charge of Blue!
My high school did the whole “buy a flower for a $1” too. I also was not the recipient of mass bouquets. Whatever. I don’t have a single resentment. I swear. 😉 lol
I liked Steve better because he was so surly! I remember that Blue’s Clues episode – Love Day is a perfect idea. Hope you guys had a nice Love Day. 🙂
Chocolate versus Wine….. WINE WINS!!!!!!!!!!!