I’ve made no secret of my blog-crush on Suburban Haiku. Peyton is simply a master of the 5-7-5 art form. (I’m totally gonna fan-girl her when I meet her in-person.) As if she couldn’t be more awesome, she’s having a Twitter Haiku Contest in celebration of National Poetry Month.
Now, of course, I also LOVE poetry—especially my own bad poetry. So yesterday, I naturally jumped on the Twitter Haiku Contest wagon and tweeted out some of my very own (bad) haiku.
It’s not always easy to find inspiration for poetry under pressure. For some of my haiku, I drew inspiration from events going on around me in my everyday life.
Shrieks, heavy stomping Music blasting through the walls Anthem of tween angst
It is Spring Break time. Threats of deep cleaning their rooms Make bored kids not bored.
I didn’t shower, Cook, clean, or drive anywhere. I nailed Earth Day.
What’s the only way My husband believes I’m sick? If I refuse wine.
For some of my haiku, I drew inspiration from some of my recent blog posts (linked for your convenience).
This drought kinda sucks. I want to take long showers. And flush the yellow.
Oh, my pooping tree, Die a horrible death, please. (Take the birds with you.)
You wish to discuss The birds and the bees with me? I’ll drink more wine first.
After all these years My MIL is still aghast at The size of my breasts.
For one of my haiku, I simply drew inspiration from my nearly broken ass.
Jillian told me I’d have killer buns and thighs. Yes, they’re killing me.
The problem was, however, that I couldn’t STOP haiku-ing. I was talking to the kids in haiku. I was spewing haiku all over my house. All over the Internet. And then, of course, I drew inspiration from that… for more haiku:
Can’t stop haiku-ing. Damn that Peyton Price woman. (That evil genius.)
Meal prep can wait. Those screams don’t sound serious. Just one more haiku.
I was even having conversations with other bloggers about haiku… in haiku:
To my friend Joy at Comfytown Chronicles who shared my Twitter/haiku status:
Trying to think of
A really witty reply.
I’ll just say, “Thank You.”
My friend Chris at pixie.c.d. and I had this ridiculous exchange in haiku:
But perhaps my favorite haiku of them all?
My teachers told me That I should write what I know. Wine, wine, wine, and wine.
P.S. Expect more haiku from me today.
23 Responses
I did three in the last 5 minutes. Yeah.
I have a problem.
It’s BAD over here. Two days, and I’m still going…
I was kegeling (yeah, that’s a verb now) as I read this.
I now need to smoke.
*Starts that bad habit again*
Nah, I’m way too tired.
HAHAHAHA! I love it. And thank you for the pimping on Twitter. xoxo
LOVING your haiku, Kelly! Also, you may need to see a doctor for that haiku fever.
Thank you, my Master. And, yes, it hasn’t gone away. I may require help in the morning.
LOL! I love the haiku. I’m going to have to give it a try!
Please do! It’s so much fun. I’m having a great time reading all of the haiku!
I just spit coffee and tootsie roll all over my screen! (Hey, hegels are hungry work.) Because this is the closest to internet famous I’ve ever been! Thanks lady!
PS Did that comment about kegels sound wrong? I mean, I really was just trying to justify the tootsie rolls, but in retrospect, it’s probably some kind of social faux pas to use kegel and hungry in the same sentence.
Oops!
LMAO! You’re asking the WRONG person if something sounded wrong. Nothing is wrong in my book. 😉
Your haiku is great
I won’t punish your eyeballs
With more bad haiku
Brilliance. In 5-7-5. You’re awesome.
I LOVE THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god, I love these. I usually write Haiku when I’m on NyQuil. No idea why.
Because, NyQuil. Obviously… Can’t wait to read some of yours!
Kegels Duckface Wine
Three Things that Make Us Feel Fine
Wine Wine Champs Sex Wine
You’re killing me, Pattie! The one you emailed is going live at the end of the week. 🙂
Well, I lied. It went live today. I thought I changed the date, but I guess I hadn’t. There wasn’t even wine involved.
I’d love to comment in haiku, but I’m too busy laughing. Maybe when I recover…
It’s been so addictive. It’s almost weird to type in normal sentences. P.S. There’s more coming on Friday.
Or today. It went live today. I totally meant to do that.
I love reading these haikus!
Thank you! I’m posting another collection on Friday with some previously un-tweeted haiku. I hope you enjoy.
Make that today. Because WordPress and sleep deprivation are a lethal combination.