Can’t. Stop. Haiku-ing.

I’ve made no secret of my blog-crush on Suburban Haiku. Peyton is simply a master of the 5-7-5 art form. (I’m totally gonna fan-girl her when I meet her in-person.) As if she couldn’t be more awesome, she’s having a Twitter Haiku Contest in celebration of National Poetry Month.

Now, of course, I also LOVE poetry—especially my own bad poetry. So yesterday, I naturally jumped on the Twitter Haiku Contest wagon and tweeted out some of my very own (bad) haiku.

It’s not always easy to find inspiration for poetry under pressure. For some of my haiku, I drew inspiration from events going on around me in my everyday life.

Shrieks, heavy stomping
Music blasting through the walls
Anthem of tween angst
It is Spring Break time.
Threats of deep cleaning their rooms
Make bored kids not bored.
I didn’t shower,
Cook, clean, or drive anywhere.
I nailed Earth Day.
What’s the only way
My husband believes I’m sick?
If I refuse wine.

For some of my haiku, I drew inspiration from some of my recent blog posts (linked for your convenience).

This drought kinda sucks.
I want to take long showers.
And flush the yellow.
Oh, my pooping tree,
Die a horrible death, please.
(Take the birds with you.)
You wish to discuss
The birds and the bees with me?
I’ll drink more wine first.
After all these years
My MIL is still aghast at
The size of my breasts.

For one of my haiku, I simply drew inspiration from my nearly broken ass.

Jillian told me
I’d have killer buns and thighs.
Yes, they’re killing me.

The problem was, however, that I couldn’t STOP haiku-ing. I was talking to the kids in haiku. I was spewing haiku all over my house. All over the Internet. And then, of course, I drew inspiration from that… for more haiku:

Can’t stop haiku-ing.
Damn that Peyton Price woman.
(That evil genius.)
Meal prep can wait.
Those screams don’t sound serious.
Just one more haiku.

I was even having conversations with other bloggers about haiku… in haiku:

To my friend Joy at Comfytown Chronicles who shared my Twitter/haiku status:

Trying to think of
A really witty reply. 
I’ll just say, “Thank You.”

My friend Chris at pixie.c.d. and I had this ridiculous exchange in haiku:

Tweet

But perhaps my favorite haiku of them all?

My teachers told me
That I should write what I know.
Wine, wine, wine, and wine.

P.S. Expect more haiku from me today.

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23 Responses

  1. I was kegeling (yeah, that’s a verb now) as I read this.

    I now need to smoke.
    *Starts that bad habit again*
    Nah, I’m way too tired.

  2. I just spit coffee and tootsie roll all over my screen! (Hey, hegels are hungry work.) Because this is the closest to internet famous I’ve ever been! Thanks lady!
    PS Did that comment about kegels sound wrong? I mean, I really was just trying to justify the tootsie rolls, but in retrospect, it’s probably some kind of social faux pas to use kegel and hungry in the same sentence.
    Oops!

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