This post was part of my Blogapalooza First Blogiversary series. I celebrated my blog being around a whole year by giving away presents and sharing stories of my “firsts” in life. The prizes may be gone, but you can still enjoy the stories. (And I’ll give away more prizes soon, I promise.)
Did you know that I’m a published author? Like in an actual magazine? And I received monetary compensation for my writing? Well, I am. Only I don’t have the publication to prove it. So you’ll just have to take my word for it.
Remember Dynamite Magazine? (Of course, you do. Please tell me you do and not that you’re too young to remember it. Because then I’ll just feel old.) Well, if you recall, Dynamite had a feature called Bummers. Bummers were jokes that started with, “Don’t you hate it when…” and anyone could submit the ending to that sentence. If your joke was accepted, Dynamite would send you $5 and publish your bummer.
I was the youngest of 6 kids, and all of my siblings had tried for years to get their bummers published in that magazine. Throughout the 70s and early 80s, Dynamite Magazine must have received hundreds of submissions from my siblings, and not one was accepted.
So naturally I thought I should give it a try. I sent in one submission with a couple of bummers on it and didn’t think much of it. A few months later, I got a letter back from Dynamite Magazine and a check for $5! They were going to publish my bummer! This development really pissed off my older siblings. And made me very happy.
Sadly, while I saw my bummer in print, I didn’t actually save a copy of that magazine. I was maybe 8 or 9—why would I think to save it? (I already shared my thoughts about my parents’ responsibility in saving it with my therapist so I won’t rehash that here.) So I have nothing to show you of my first publication. And this makes me very sad.
Oh, I’ve written Scholastic. They never responded (possibly they think I’m crazy). I’ve searched online. I’ve scoured thousands of images. I can’t find it. So like I said, you’ll just have to believe me. It was a great bummer.
What?! You want me to tell you what my bummer was? I’ll tell you what: if someone can help me get connected to the right people so I can get a copy of that bummer, I’ll absolutely reveal it. Deal?
In the meantime, I’m totally putting “Published Author” on my resume.
10 Responses
Just like I’m an actress because my mom forced me to be in a WTTW Chicago commercial (the local public access station) when I was 7.
I need a stage name. I’m thinking “Sarah del Sexo.” Where’s my SAG card?!
Absolutely. I’m gonna need some time to think of a good stage name, but that’s now on the official list. Stay tuned.
I LOVED that magazine!!! That’s where I learned that if you bite into a wintergreen Lifesaver in the dark, while looking at yourself in a mirror, you’ll see little green sparks! It totally worked. If you loved Dynamite, I’m presuming you were also a Zoom fan! So nice to find a soul sister!
P.S. I submitted a quote to Reader’s Digest in 7th grade and got $50. I don’t think that counts as getting published though, because they weren’t my words. Still remember the quote though:
“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.” It was from the Isaac Asimov novel The Foundation.
$50? Man, I was robbed. Or didn’t know how to target the big dogs…
I can’t even count how many Lifesavers my 5 siblings and I consumed performing that very same stunt!
And ZOOM!!! I relived years of my childhood just now watching this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwI15oEwA_A
That is so funny. Sadly, I remember that magazine! So cool that you got published at such a young age!
Thank you for remembering it (or lying that you do) so I don’t feel so old. 😉
new site look! amazing!
Thank you!! Cheers!