Sorrow Bacon Is an Oxymoron

I was recently doing some research for a friend. Kinda random research on obscure German phrases. It’s a long story, really, but during this research I came across a few German phrases that I simply adore. I can’t actually pronounce the words (though I try—mostly when drinking), but I’m in love with the meanings.

• Drachenfutter. A gift that will, literally, feed the dragon. Let’s say you’re a guy and you pissed your wife off. I mean, it’s not that hard to do. You *are* a guy after all. Give her a fabulous gift (something sparkly perhaps?), and it will appease the dragon lady. Fabulous.
• Fremdschamen. To be ashamed or embarrassed for someone else. Let’s say your friend does something monumentally stupid or ridiculous. Fremdschamen is that schrunchy, hurty feeling you get for her/him. Ouch.
• Backpfeifengesicht. A face badly in need of a fist. Or a face that needs to be slapped. This one is pretty self-explanatory. And awesome. I know a few of those faces.

All of these words I get. I mean, I really understand them and embrace them. I have even started using them in my everyday conversations. (Dan’s not as amused as I am.) But I’m really having a hard time with this next word.

• Kummerspeck. Literally means sorrow bacon. It’s that extra bulge (us Americans call it the muffin top but it doesn’t have as deep of a meaning) that you get after eating too much comfort food. Too much bacon = sorrowful bulge on your waist.

Now, I understand comfort food and muffin tops, and I understand the regret of eating too much of something bad for you. But I just can’t put “sorrow” and “bacon” together in the same word. How could I ever be sad about eating bacon? I couldn’t. That’s just impossible. I’d be sad if I got a bulge from eating too many Twinkies or something equally as horrible. But bacon isn’t like that. It’s pure deliciousness from the pig. And the pig is a magical animal.